Tosca Musk on Motherhood

Tosca Musk is the youngest of three, and the only daughter in the family. Growing up in a tight knit family with extended family always around, Tosca hopes to create a similar experience for her children. A single mother by choice, Tosca is the mother to a set of twins with an anonymous sperm donor. As a strong advocate for women going for what they want without the pressure of social norms preventing them from achieving their dreams, Tosca founded Passionflix.

Passionflix is a streaming platform that focuses on the female gaze. The platform takes the best selling romance novels and turn them into movies and series, and releases them along with curated studio features. Anything from Pride and Prejudice to 50 Shades of Grey. The mission of Passionflix is to empower women through emotional strength, removing the shame from sexuality and sensuality, and showing a new way to present themselves, with strength, in all situations. The company is a strong advocate for “people see, people do” and believes media has a role in showing a more positive way of dealing with situations. Their mandate is love, passion, romance and hopeful/happy endings.

What highs and lows did you experience as you transitioned to motherhood? The highs are obvious: two amazing children; unconditional love; a feeling of belonging and of being needed that’s remarkably fulfilling. The lows…perhaps a little loneliness at the same time. As a single mother, it is inevitable that you will be alone. Once the kids are asleep, and the house is quiet, you can’t leave. The freedom of randomly popping out the house for a drink with a friend is gone. There is a sense of time passing, and a little bit of missing out on some fun times, hits at those quiet times. But the highs so outweigh the lows, and time passes so quickly, that those feelings are fleeting. I’d do this all over again, if I had to go back. Maybe even a few years earlier. Having children was the best decision I’ve ever made.

What surprised you most? The biggest surprise is how much it changed me into a grounded, kinder, more patient human being. Children, for me, were life changing in the best way. I realized what was important to me, to fulfilling my life. It removed any kind of social barrier I’d ever put in front of me. And it allows me to ask for, strive for, know I can achieve, all the things I want from life.

How do you practice daily self-care? I go for an hour long walk with my kids in the morning. I read (or listen to audibles) of books that I feel can broaden my viewpoint. I try to go to the gym everyday. And I focus, work-wise, on making sure that every decision I make I can back up with a solid belief system.

Healthiest daily habit you practice? And worst? A glass of wine every day… A glass of wine every day :-).

How have your priorities shifted over the last few years? My children are five. So, the last few years have been dramatically changing in priorities. It starts with keeping the children alive, and now I’m at a stage where I’m looking at all their friends and am excited about who’s a good influence on them as they play.

For me, my work and passion has taken a turn for the better. I’ve focused on storytelling, and a company, that I know will have a strong impact on women and men. And for my children, I feel that’s the best thing I can offer them. My priorities have shifted to making sure that I can back up everything I do with what I believe in. Every movie I make, every friendship I nurture. I’ve become a strong advocate for communication and honesty. And I push for all the people around me to engage in that practice.

Piece of advice you want all women to have as they transition into motherhood? It’s the best, and the hardest job, you’ll ever have. You can do it. Some days you might feel frustrated, trapped, scared, overwhelmed. But then you have a few hours of sleep, and you wake up, ready to take it all on. Completely rejuvenated. Surrounded by love. Empowered. It’s amazing what a mother is capable of. You can do anything, and will do anything, for your little one. And you will do it well. Know that. You can do it.

This interview is in collaboration with Totum Women and is part of a series we’re hosting together on some moms who’ve recently rocked our worlds.

I met Erin Erenberg, Founder of Totum, in January when we were both chosen to be a part of little experiment with 30 women from all of over the country. We were brought together as a group to participate in a 30-day virtual workout challenge (a fun combo of 300 squats, push ups, sit ups, lunges and leg lifts daily). What a weird way to meet, but the challenge included accountability via group text that led to community and connection among the participants. When Erin was officially introduced to the group, I was astounded at the similarity of the mission of Totum Women to Hello My Tribe. Additionally, Erin and I share a joy in collaboration over competition, and our first project together is to share some profiles of the awe-inspiring women who joined us in our January challenge.

Post Author
Alex Winkelman
Alex founded Hello My Tribe not because she was an expert on motherhood, but because she was a mom who desperately needed support and community. During those tough first months of motherhood, Alex spent day after day reading and learning about motherhood. She learned: 1. She wasn’t alone in her feelings about motherhood. 2. Everything we could have ever dreamt of existed for the baby, but there was a lack of resources for the woman/mother 3. There are many maternal health issues in our country that need attention and need to be addressed. Hello My Tribe was built upon these needs. Previous to launching Hello My Tribe in 2016, Alex was a professional and volunteer fundraiser, raising millions of dollars for non-profit organizations. Alex lives in Austin, TX with her son and two rescue dogs.